Dealing with Jealousy in Relationships: Tips for a Healthy Mindset
“...fidelity and loyalty, desire and longing, jealousy and possessiveness, truth-telling and forgiveness. I encourage you to question yourself, to speak the unspoken, and to be unafraid to challenge sexual and emotional correctness.”
Jealousy is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. It can be triggered by a variety of things, such as your partner spending time with someone else, getting a promotion at work, or simply looking good in a new outfit.
While jealousy is a normal emotion, it can be destructive if it is not managed properly. If you find yourself struggling with jealousy, there are a few things you can do to deal with this emotion in a healthy way.
Acknowledge your feelings. The first step to dealing with jealousy is to acknowledge that you are feeling it. Pretending that you are not jealous will not make the feeling go away. Instead, it will likely make it worse.
Have healthy boundaries. It is important to have healthy boundaries in your relationship. This includes respecting each other's space and privacy.
Be intentional about discussing your agreements and expectations. Most of us don’t set clear expectations from each other and the relationships. Often, we rely on unspoken agreements and only start intentional conversations about them when we or our partners break them.
Communicate openly and honestly. Share how you’re feeling with your partner. If your jealousy is being caused by something that your partner is doing, it is important to talk to them about it. Let them know how their behavior is making you feel and work together to find a solution.
Build trust. If you trust your partner, you will be less likely to feel jealous. Remember that your partner is with you because they want to be with you.
Identify the source of your jealousy. Once you have acknowledged that you are feeling jealous, take some time to identify the source of your feelings. Is it because you are insecure about yourself? Do you feel like your partner is not giving you enough attention? Once you know the source of your jealousy, you can start to address it.
Build your self-esteem. If your jealousy is rooted in insecurity, it is important to work on building your self-esteem. This can be done by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments, setting goals for yourself, and surrounding yourself with positive people.
Focus on the present. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Focus on the present moment and enjoy your relationship.
Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. When you are feeling jealous, it is easy to focus on the negative aspects of your relationship. However, it is important to remember all of the good things about your partner and your relationship. Make a list of all the things you love about your partner and focus on those things when you start to feel jealous.
Seek professional help. If you are struggling to deal with jealousy on your own, there is no shame in seeking professional help. It can help you to understand the root of your jealousy and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Jealousy can be a difficult emotion to deal with, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people struggle with jealousy in relationships. By following the tips above, you can learn to deal with jealousy in a healthy way and strengthen your relationship.
If you’d like to talk to someone about it, whether by yourself or with your partner, click here to request an appointment.
I am a PhD in Clinical Sexology candidate at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and have a Master of Science in Educational Psychology. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
