16 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships
“Although every relationship faces challenges at some point, a healthy communication style can make it easier to handle conflict and strengthen the partnership.”
Communication is essential for any healthy relationship. When couples can communicate effectively, they are better able to understand each other, resolve conflicts, and build a strong foundation for their relationship.
Here are some tips for improving communication in your relationship:
Bids for connection: The way partners respond to bids for connection shapes the emotional climate of the relationship. Learn more about this here.
Be open and honest. Communication is built on trust, and trust is built on honesty. Be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Be a good listener. When your partner is talking to you, really listen to what they have to say. Don't interrupt, and don't just wait for your turn to talk. Try to understand their perspective.
Turn off devices! Practice giving your full attention and presence to your partner. If possible, try to make eye contact, even if it is just for a brief time.
Use "I" statements. Instead of blaming or accusing your partner, use "I" statements to express your feelings. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," you could say "I feel like you're not listening to me."
Be respectful. Name-calling and criticism are never helpful in resolving conflict. They only serve to make your partner feel attacked and defensive.
Avoid the Four Horsemen. Learn to avoid the four biggest communication no-nos and replace with healthier ways to communicate.
Choose a good time to talk. Don't try to have a serious conversation when you're both stressed or tired. Wait until you're both calm and relaxed.
Be willing to compromise. No two people are exactly alike, and there will be times when you disagree. When this happens, be willing to compromise. Find a solution that works for both of you. However, it is important to recognize your own principles and values and if the issue is something you are able to comprise on or not.
Relationship issues vs roommate issues. If you’re living together, you’re likely going to clash from time to time. Some fights are just about sharing a space and being different people who do some things in different ways… They aren’t necessarily an indicator of relationship struggles!
Practice forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes. If your partner does something to hurt you, be willing to forgive them. Holding on to anger and resentment will only damage your relationship.
Improving communication in your relationship takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When you can communicate effectively with your partner, you will have a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
Here are some additional tips for improving communication in your relationship:
Find a common language. This could be a shared hobby, interest, or activity that you can both enjoy. Having something in common to talk about can help you to connect with each other on a deeper level.
Spend quality time together. Make time for each other each day, even if it's just for a few minutes. This could mean going for a walk, talking over dinner, or just cuddling on the couch.
Stress-reducing conversations. When one of you is having struggles in work or other areas of your life, be there for your partner! Listen, take their side; it’s you against the world.
Give each other space. It's important to give each other space to be individuals. Don't try to be joined at the hip 24/7. Let each other have their own friends, hobbies, and interests.
Seek professional help. If you're struggling to communicate with your partner, don't be afraid to seek professional help.
Improving communication in your relationship is an ongoing process. There will be times when you get it right, and there will be times when you get it wrong. But if you're willing to put in the effort, you can learn to communicate effectively with your partner and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. If you’d like help with that, click here to request an appointment.
I am a PhD in Clinical Sexology candidate at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and have a Master of Science in Educational Psychology. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
