Negative Sentiment Override and Focused Attention in Couples' Relationships
Negative Sentiment Override (NSO) is a psychological term used in the context of relationships, particularly in the work of Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship researcher. NSO refers to a state in which one or both partners in a relationship develop a persistent and pervasive negative perception of each other and the relationship itself. This negative perception colors their interpretation of each other's actions, intentions, and words, leading them to consistently view interactions through a negative lens.
In a relationship affected by Negative Sentiment Override, even neutral or positive behaviors from one partner may be interpreted in a negative way by the other partner. Over time, NSO can erode the emotional connection, intimacy, and positive feelings that once existed in the relationship. It is a critical component in predicting the likelihood of divorce or relationship dissolution. Couples experiencing NSO often find it challenging to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and maintain a sense of closeness.
Gottman's research has shown that a ratio of positive to negative interactions is crucial for a healthy and lasting relationship. In relationships dominated by NSO, this ratio becomes imbalanced, with negative interactions outweighing the positive ones. As a result, the relationship may become strained, leading to increased conflict, emotional distance, and dissatisfaction.
Addressing Negative Sentiment Override often involves couples therapy or counseling, where partners can work on improving their communication, understanding each other's perspectives, and rebuilding a positive connection. The goal is to shift the negative perception and create a more balanced and supportive relational environment.
The quality of romantic relationships profoundly influences individuals' well-being and overall life satisfaction. Negative sentiment override emphasizes the dominance of negative perceptions and interpretations, potentially leading to communication breakdowns and emotional disconnection. Conversely, couples can harness focused attention- the intentional directing of cognitive and emotional resources toward specific aspects of the relationship- potentially facilitating positive connections and emotional growth.
Capitalizing on the neuroscientific principle of neural plasticity, intentional attention allocation can shape neural pathways, potentially leading to the reinforcement of positive emotional connections. By deliberately focusing on positive interactions and shared activities, couples may mitigate the effects of negative sentiment override and promote the cultivation of more resilient and fulfilling relationships.
Mindfully directing attention toward positive aspects of the relationship aligns with Gottman's approach of addressing negative sentiment override through positive interventions. Integrating focused attention strategies can empower couples to reframe negative perceptions and break the cycle of negativity. Mindfulness practices enable individuals to recognize and regulate their thoughts and emotions, facilitating the identification and mitigation of negative sentiment override. Mindful presence enhances focused attention, enabling couples to engage more deeply and empathetically with each other.
Here are four additional ways you can change the negative sentiment override dynamic:
Accepting Bids for Connection: This involves recognizing and responding to your partner's bids for emotional connection, which helps create a sense of safety and validation in the relationship.
Accepting Influence: Instead of adopting a "right vs. wrong" mentality, partners should actively consider each other's thoughts and opinions, seeking common ground and understanding.
Repair After an Argument: Making an effort to apologize, discuss disagreements, and work on issues after an argument can prevent resentment from building up.
The "3 Things You Love" Activity: Engaging in fun activities and gestures that show love and appreciation for each other can help maintain a positive perspective and connection.
If you’d like help exploring the patterns in your relationship, minimize negative interaction, and increase positive affect in your relationship, click here to request a session.
I am a PhD in Clinical Sexology candidate at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and have a Master of Science in Educational Psychology. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
