The Social Construction of Sexuality
Sexuality is an integral aspect of life. It includes a wide range of experiences, expressions, and identities. We are the most complex sexual beings. While biological perspectives have dominated the view on sexuality, it has been increasingly recognized that plenty of other factors play a role in our sexuality.
Socio-Cultural Contexts
An exploration of human sexuality is incomplete without considering the background noise and socio-political context in which they exist. The social construction of sex, gender, and identities inevitably impacts our self-perception and lived experience. These may either foster or inhibit sexual authenticity and well-being.
In Gender Trouble, Butler (1990) introduced the notion of Gender Performativity, arguing gender and sexuality are socially constructed through performative acts. We do gender. It is a performance… Societal discourses and power structures influence our embodied experiences of sex and desire (Gagnon and Simon, 1987).
Sexual conduct emerges from the interplay of meaning and behavior, in the context of social scripts, shaped by cultural and subcultural discourses and narratives. Through these scripts, individuals systematically link sexual activities, roles, and meanings. Overtime, they create their own variations.
Only a comprehensive or holistic approach allow us to explore the richness of human sexuality. There are no universally applicable sexual norms throughout history. Human sexuality is continuously evolving and transforming as time passes. Margaret Mead’s (1961) research in Samoa is often cited as one of the pioneering works in showcasing the influence of cultural norms and practices (in this case, coming of age rituals) on sexual behaviors and attitudes.
“Sexuality is the name given to a historical construct.”
Sociocultural and historical contexts shape our deepest emotional drives, desires, thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. Understanding our sexuality requires openness to its nuances. The meaning of sex lives in subjective experience and interpretation (Klein, 1991).
A Sociological Perspective in the Advent of Postmodernity
In their work titled Sexual Conduct: The Social Sources of Human Sexuality, Simon and Gagnon argued human sexuality is profoundly social. Individuals rely on culturally appropriate scripts to identify erotic stimuli (people, motives, and activities within sexual contexts). This perception of appropriateness plays a role in feeling aroused.
Social identities and our body’s experience are inseparable. Sexual Scripts define the meanings and roles in sexual activities. Social norms and discourses influence engagement, enjoyment, and well-being to the degree they allow or inhibit individuals to embrace their authentic experiences, identities, and desires.
Experience is biology (Siegel, 2012). Our culture continuously shape innate characteristics. While our biology gives us signals for certain needs, it is our cultural environment who teaches us how to fulfill them. The processes of accommodation and assimilation influence the development of our identity, behaviors, and self-concept (Mallon, 2007).
This is not about nature versus nurture, they work together. Their interplay persist across our lifespans. We survive by adapting to our environment.
Sexual Scripts Theory is a social constructivist perspective that helps understand the diversity and contextual nature of human sexuality (Gagnon & Simon, 2005). Our brain creates an internal construction, a sort of ‘virtual reality’, of the environment. This internalization guides our interactions as we receive sensory input (Hagoort, 2019). Socio-cultural worlds embed bodies with meanings and significance; body parts become symbols. We must negotiate the materiality of our bodies with our intersubjective experiences.
Human nature is complex and systematic. We have signals flowing from bottom-up and top-down, constantly working in a feedback loop. We aren’t passive recipients but active participants, in continuous meaning-making processes. This often happens at various levels of consciousness and we might not always be aware of all elements that influence our experience at any given time. Furthermore, we can only experience the world from our own perspective, our own body. Only able to understand from our understanding and being influenced by past experiences.
Brain(body), mind, and relationships are profoundly interconnected. In the upcoming explorations we will briefly discuss how each of them might influence our sexuality. As a being born depending on others, relationships are a key component of our development (and survival). Relationships provide the formative context for our ways of being, how our brain develops, and give us a template for what to expect from the world.
Sexual Diversity
Despite the growing recognition of sexuality’s fluidity and diversity across species (Bauer et al., 2017; Kuper et al., 2018; Diamon, 2021), identities that fall outside of the predominant cultural scripts (such as hetero-normative scripts) still experience discrimination. The detrimental effects of discrimination have been shown time again. LGBTQ+ individuals who lack social support have a higher incidence of mental health struggles (Almeida et al., 2009; Russel & Fish, 2016; Balakrishnan et al., 2022). In contrast, positive media representations, family and community support lower the risks and improve mental health outcomes (The Trevor Project, 2022).
Youth in higher socioeconomic status seem to be more likely to receive support from family, peers, and significant others (McConnell et al., 2015). They may also have better access to affirming health care and professional mental health support. Sadly, the current political climate in relation to gender affirming care, especially for transgender youth, may exacerbate the negative effects discussed above (American Civil Liberties Union, 2023).
While it has been proposed that sexual orientation has biological substrates based on dimorphic brain structures and neural correlates that match sexual attraction across binary gender assignment (Calabrò et al., 2019), others have shown sexual orientation is fluid and diverse across the lifespan (Diamon, 2008). Gender and sexual identity are diverse and dynamic. Our current rapid social shifts are redefining these constructs. Anyone may experience changes and fluctuations in their attractions and identities (Diamon & Blair, 2018).
Mitricheva et al. (2019) argued against sexual duality in the neural substrates of sexual arousal. Their metanalysis of sixty-one functional imaging studies (a total of of 1,850 participants) suggested stimulus type is a greater predictor of activation than biological sex. Sexually relevant videos and pictures induced significant activations in varying brain regions including insula, middle occipital, anterior cingulate and fusiform gyrus, amygdala, striatum, pulvinar, and substantia nigra, which can be referred to as the arousal network, independent of biological sex.
Some evidence shows structural differences that correlate with sexual orientation, though results showed no significant difference in whole-brain structure and activation in response to sexual stimuli between the sexes. Taken together, the results challenge the common notions of gender dichotomy in brain response to sexual stimuli. A critical gap in such studies is the small sample sizes and a non-representative amount- or complete absence of- gender fluid, non-binary, and transgender participants.
An additional limitation- as pointed out by the authors- is the lack of homogeneity in the setup and paradigms used in task-fMRI experiments make it so these results must be taken with caution. Moreover, this research has centered primarily on a one-person system perspective. Recent and projected trends point to the possibility of including dyads in such studies to study the intricacies of brain sexuality in the context of interpersonal relationships.
There is also a great need for diverse samples that include participants from varied socio-economic and ethnic backgrounds. Furthermore, there is little to no mention of intersex population studies, those with disability, and many other populations who are often left out of research studies in the sexology field. Research must prioritize significant attention to underserved groups and historically marginalized subgroups, ensuring inclusivity and addressing the unique needs of these communities.
Our sexuality is composed of a unique interplay of experience, context, and internal features. Human sexuality is non-linear, complex, and systematic. Understanding the varied aspects that influence sexuality may help promote sexual health and well-being (Herdt & McClintock, 2000). In Sex Counseling, it is necessary to explore not only prior sexual experiences but also their relational context and how they are processed at varying levels. Clinical Sexology must integrate these various levels into their interventions.
Mindful Pause
Mindful Practice: Breath Awareness
Sit or lie down comfortably. Start by paying attention to your breath. Don’t try to change anything about it, just feel the air flowing and how your body moves with it.
If your mind starts going somewhere else, that’s alright! Just keep bringing it back to this moment. Take this opportunity to check in with your body. See if there’s anything you need to do to take care of yourself. Drink water, walk around, stretch your back…
If you'd like a video/audio to guide you through a quick breathing exercise, you can try this one: click here.
Sex Does Not Happen in a Vacuum
“I exist for myself as a body known by the Other.”
Here are a few questions to get you started…
How did you first learn about sex? Was it through formal education, conversations with friends, or other sources?
Can you share a positive or memorable experience from your sexual education journey?
Were there any challenges or misconceptions you faced while learning about sex, and how did you overcome them?
Do you feel that your cultural or religious background influenced your understanding of sex and relationships? How?
Have you ever had a mentor or someone you looked up to when it comes to matters of sexuality? What impact did they have on your views?
In what ways do you think societal attitudes or cultural norms have shaped your perceptions of sex and intimacy?
How comfortable are you discussing sexual topics, and has that comfort level changed over time?
Did you have open conversations with your family about sex, or was it considered a more private topic?
Have your experiences in relationships influenced your views on sex and intimacy? How so?
Is there anything from your sexual history that you feel particularly proud of or that has positively shaped your understanding of yourself?
11. What counts as ‘sex’ for you? How do you define sexual?
12. Do you consider yourself a sexual being?
13. Are there any issues in your current sex life? Is there anything that is well?
14. What are you hoping to explore about your sexuality?
Sexual Well-Being
The positive dimensions of sexual well-being include sexual satisfaction, sexual self-efficacy, sexual self-esteem, and sexual pleasure (Anderson, 2013). Studies have revealed a reciprocal correlation among these concepts. Engaging in sexual activity has shown associations with decreased levels of depression in both men and women, positively influencing feelings of connectedness, mental well-being, self-worth, and a sense of belonging (Gagong & Larson, 2011). Additionally, recent longitudinal research based on the German Ageing Survey established a link between sexual satisfaction and subjective well-being (Buczak-Stec, König, & Hajek, 2019).
Sexual satisfaction plays a crucial role in the the well-being of most relationships (Vowels, Vowels, & Mark, 2022). Relationship factors that influence sexual satisfaction include relationship satisfaction, the importance of sex, romantic love, and dyadic desire. Importantly, a diverse sexual repertoire correlates to more satisfying experiences. Attachment security or insecurity (especially avoidance) has been suggested to be a predictor of lower sexual satisfaction.
In a study published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, researchers interviewed 64 people, 44 of them claimed to have experienced “great sex” and the rest were sex therapists (Kleinplatz et al. 2009). Using a phenomenological approach, the study focused on the participants’ subjective experience, aiming to uncover the underlying structures and patterns inherent in those experiences. They found eight major components: being present, connection, deep sexual and erotic intimacy, extraordinary communication, interpersonal risk-taking and exploration, authenticity, vulnerability, and transcendence. You can explore A Portrait of “Great Sex” here.
Sexual activities may serve diverse needs like desires, love, affection, attachment, stress relief, reproduction, social control, coercion, economic benefits, and sexual pleasure to name a few. Among these motivations, sexual pleasure is a main contributor, strongly linked to increased engagement in sexual activities. Essentially, sexual pleasure is the enjoyment derived from participating in sexual interactions. It is characterized by emotional, cognitive, and physical components. Sexual pleasure is closely tied to various positive indicators and is an essential feature of healthy sexuality.
Pleasure is the Measure
Pleasure Practice
In "The Pleasure Zone," Dr. Stella Resnik explores the various dimensions of pleasure that contribute to a well-lived and fulfilling life. While I can't provide direct quotes from the book, the topics you've listed offer a comprehensive guide to understanding the multifaceted nature of pleasure. Let's delve into these areas to understand the essence of Dr. Resnik's perspectives on embracing a life enriched with pleasure:
Primal Pleasure: Letting Go and "Just Being"
This aspect focuses on the foundational pleasures that come from being present in the moment and engaging fully with life. It encourages releasing control and immersing oneself in the pure joy of existence, free from the constraints of overthinking and societal pressures.
Pain Relief: Releasing and Resolving Old Hurts
Pain relief in the context of pleasure is about healing emotional wounds and letting go of past traumas. It involves the process of acknowledging pain, understanding its roots, and gently working through it to find peace and joy.
Elemental Pleasures: Play, Humor, Movement, and Sound
Elemental pleasures remind us of the basic yet profound joys found in playful activities, laughter, physical movement, and the appreciation of sounds, whether it's music or the natural sounds around us. These are the pleasures that connect us to our humanity and the world.
Mental Pleasures: Curiosity, Learning, Positive Thinking
Engaging the mind through learning, curiosity, and maintaining a positive outlook is a form of pleasure that enriches our lives and encourages growth. It involves seeking out new knowledge and experiences and adopting an optimistic view of life.
Emotional Pleasures: Gratitude, Love, Courage, Enthusiasm
Emotional pleasures come from fostering positive feelings and relationships. Expressing gratitude, experiencing love, showing courage in the face of challenges, and maintaining enthusiasm for life are all ways to deepen our emotional well-being.
Sensual Pleasures: Taking Delight in the Senses
This area focuses on the enjoyment derived from engaging our senses—touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. It encourages an appreciation for the beauty in the world and finding joy in the sensory experiences that surround us.
Sexual Pleasures: Arousal, Desire, Romance, Abandon
Sexual pleasure involves the exploration and enjoyment of sexuality, including arousal, desire, romantic connection, and the freedom to express oneself sexually. It's about embracing sexuality as a natural and enriching part of life.
Spiritual Pleasures: Feeling A Part of Something Good
Spiritual pleasures relate to the sense of connection to something greater than ourselves, whether through nature, religion, spirituality, or a sense of community. It's about finding meaning, purpose, and a sense of belonging.
Dr. Stella Resnik's approach in "The Pleasure Zone" is to offer a holistic view of pleasure, emphasizing that true joy encompasses a wide range of experiences—from the simple and earthly to the complex and spiritual. By exploring and integrating these diverse aspects of pleasure into our lives, we can lead richer, more satisfying lives.
Pleasure Practices to Boost Your Well-being
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it's easy to overlook the importance of pleasure. Yet, integrating pleasure practices into your daily routine can significantly enhance your overall well-being and happiness. From mindful eating to nature immersion, there are countless ways to cultivate joy in your life.
Nature Immersion: Reconnect with the Outdoors
Nature immersion, such as forest bathing or simply taking regular walks in nature, can soothe the soul and rejuvenate the spirit. Spend time surrounded by greenery, breathe in the fresh air, and feel the stress melt away.
Taking regular walks in nature.
Practicing forest bathing, a Japanese practice known as shinrin-yoku, which involves absorbing the forest atmosphere.
Gardening or spending time with plants.
Creative Expression: Unleash Your Inner Artist
Expressing yourself creatively through activities like painting, writing, or playing music can be incredibly fulfilling. Allow yourself the freedom to explore your artistic side and let your imagination run wild.
Writing poetry, stories, or journaling.
Playing a musical instrument or singing.
Painting, drawing, or crafting.
Mindful Eating: Savor Every Bite
Mindful eating involves fully engaging your senses and savoring each mouthful of food. Take the time to appreciate the flavors, textures, and aromas of your meals, free from distractions.
Trying new recipes or cuisines.
Cooking a beloved dish from scratch.
Savoring meals without distractions.
Physical Activity: Move Your Body, Lift Your Spirits
Whether it's dancing to your favorite music, practicing yoga, or engaging in a sport you love, physical activity is a surefire way to boost your mood and energy levels. Find activities that bring you joy and make movement a regular part of your routine.
Practicing yoga or tai chi.
Engaging in a sport or physical hobby you enjoy.
Dancing to your favorite music.
Sensory Exploration: Delight Your Senses
Indulge your senses through activities like aromatherapy, art appreciation, or listening to music. Surround yourself with beauty and allow yourself to be fully immersed in the present moment.
Experiencing art, visiting museums, or attending live performances.
Listening to music or sounds of nature.
Aromatherapy with essential oils.
Self-Care Rituals: Nourish Your Body and Soul
Self-care rituals, such as taking long baths or practicing skincare routines, are essential for nurturing your physical and emotional well-being. Treat yourself with kindness and prioritize activities that make you feel pampered and rejuvenated.
Practicing skincare routines.
Getting massages or practicing self-massage.
Taking long baths or showers with fragrant soaps or bath bombs.
Social Connection: Cultivate Meaningful Relationships
Spending quality time with friends and loved ones is essential for our happiness. Whether it's hosting a gathering, joining a club, or volunteering for a cause, nurturing social connections can bring immense joy and fulfillment.
Joining clubs or groups that share your interests.
Hosting or attending gatherings with friends or family.
Volunteering for causes you care about.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Find Peace Within
Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help quiet the mind, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being. Take time each day to sit quietly, focus on your breath, and cultivate a sense of inner peace.
Spending time in meditation retreats or workshops.
Practicing gratitude through daily reflection or a gratitude journal.
Practicing mindfulness meditation or guided imagery.
Rest and Relaxation: Recharge Your Batteries
In today's fast-paced world, it's crucial to prioritize rest and relaxation. Make time for naps, leisurely mornings, and evenings spent unwinding without distractions. Allow yourself the space to recharge and rejuvenate.
Creating a cozy, restful space for reading or relaxation.
Try napping or power naps.
Engaging in slow, leisurely mornings or evenings without rushing.
Adventure and Exploration: Expand Your Horizons
Step out of your comfort zone and embrace new experiences. Whether it's traveling to a new destination, trying a new hobby, or learning something new, embracing adventure can add excitement and richness to your life.
Trying new activities or hobbies that push your comfort zone.
Learning something new, whether it's a skill, language, or subject.
Traveling to new places or exploring new cultures.
Intimate Connections: Nurture Your Relationships
Deepen your connections with your partner through quality time, physical intimacy, and meaningful conversations. Prioritize nurturing your most important relationships and cherish the moments you share together.
Exploring physical intimacy and touch.
Engaging in deep, meaningful conversations.
Prioritizing quality time with a partner.
Digital Detox: Unplug and Reconnect
In today's digital age, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by constant connectivity. Take regular breaks from screens, engage in activities that don't require technology, and spend more face-to-face time with loved ones.
Setting aside regular times where you disconnect from all digital devices.
Engaging in hobbies that don't require screens.
Spending more face-to-face time with loved ones.
Laughter and Play: Lighten Up and Have Fun
Never underestimate the power of laughter and play. Watch a comedy, play games, or engage in playful activities that bring out your inner child. Embrace silliness and find joy in the simple pleasures of life.
Watching comedies or attending live comedy shows.
Playing games, whether video games, board games, or sports, purely for fun.
Engaging in playful activities, even as an adult, such as painting, pottery, or anything that sparks joy.
Incorporating these pleasure practices into your life can have a profound impact on your overall well-being. Experiment with different activities, listen to your intuition, and prioritize joy in everything you do. Remember, life is meant to be enjoyed, so don't be afraid to embrace the things that bring you happiness.
Journal Prompts for Exploring Pleasure
Senses:
What brings you the most pleasure through sight? (Colors, landscapes, art?)
Describe a sound that fills you with joy.
What textures make you feel good? (Soft fabrics, smooth stones, etc.)
Can you recall a taste that brings back a happy memory? Describe it.
Is there a particular scent that evokes pleasure?
Activities:
What simple, everyday activity brings you the most unexpected pleasure?
Imagine your ideal day. Describe the activities that would fill it with pleasure.
Think back to a recent experience that brought you joy. Describe it in detail.
What physical activity makes you feel most alive and satisfied?
If you could create your own pleasure ritual, what would it involve?
Self-Love:
What part of your body do you find most beautiful? Why?
Describe a way you could show yourself more love and appreciation today.
Imagine your ideal version of self-care. What would it look like?
What brings you a sense of accomplishment and pleasure?
Think about a time you felt truly comfortable and at ease in your own skin. Describe it.
Reflection:
Do you feel comfortable giving yourself permission to experience pleasure? Why or why not?
What are some challenges you face in allowing yourself to feel pleasure?
Is there a difference between pleasure and happiness for you? Explain.
What does the word "pleasure" even mean to you? Define it in your own words.
How can you incorporate more pleasure-seeking activities into your daily life?
Bonus Prompt:
Create a "Pleasure List." Write down 10 things (big or small) that bring you joy. Refer back to this list when you need a boost!
