Healing Your Relationship to Sex
Are past experiences, shame, or fear keeping you from fully embracing your sexuality? It's time to reclaim your relationship with sex and step into a more confident, connected version of yourself. Sex Counseling sessions are a space to reflect, grow, and reconnect with your sexuality. We often work on letting go of sexual shame, build intimacy with ourselves and others, and finding pleasure in all areas of life. Sexual well-being centers around pleasure. Here’s how you can start exploring these topics:
Healing Your Relationship with Sex: A Journey to Intimacy and Pleasure
Acknowledge the Past: Healing often begins by recognizing past experiences that may have shaped your relationship with sex—whether they were positive, negative, or complex. It's important to honor these experiences, while also deciding to move forward and redefine your connection with sexual pleasure.
Embrace Pleasure: Many of us feel disconnected from pleasure due to societal conditioning, shame, or fear. Reclaiming the right to enjoy your body and to feel good is essential in healing this relationship.
Mind-Body Connection: Mindfulness and somatic practices can help you stay attuned to the sensations in your body. Through touch, breath, and awareness, you can develop a more grounded relationship with yourself and your partner.
Communication: Healthy communication with yourself and your partner(s) is key. Being open about needs, desires, boundaries, and fears creates trust and allows for deeper connections.
Explore at Your Own Pace: Healing is not a race and it is not linear. You can explore and redefine sex and intimacy at a pace that feels safe and empowering for you. It’s okay to take small steps, check in with your emotions, and discover what brings you joy as slowly or fast as you need to.
Rediscover the Keys to Great Sex:
Presence – Being fully engaged in the moment with your partner.
Connection – Strengthening emotional and physical bonds.
Erotic Intimacy – Embracing desire and the pleasure of closeness.
Communication – Open, honest conversations about needs and boundaries.
Risk Taking & Exploration – Discovering new experiences and feeling safe in the unknown.
Authenticity – Embracing your true self and desires.
Vulnerability – Allowing yourself to be open, seen, and understood.
Transcendence – Moving beyond just the physical, into emotional and spiritual connection.
Rediscovering Your Aliveness
When we talk about "rediscovering your aliveness," we are referring to reconnecting with that deep sense of vitality, passion, and joy that makes life feel rich and meaningful. Aliveness is the feeling you get when you are fully present in the moment—whether you’re savoring a delicious meal, laughing with a loved one, experiencing the pleasure of touch and connection, or a pleasurable orgasm.
Many people go through life feeling detached from this sense of aliveness. Stress, trauma, or simply the routine of daily life can dull our experience of joy and pleasure. It may seem frivolous, irresponsible, or like a waste of time to engage in any kind of pleasurable activity when our to-do list is ever expanding. However, by engaging in practices that encourage mindfulness, body awareness, and emotional openness, you can reignite this spark within yourself.
Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or somatic exercises, are powerful tools for reconnecting with your aliveness. These practices help you stay present in your body, notice sensations as they arise, and embrace each moment without judgment. They teach you to tune into the subtle cues your body is giving you, allowing you to respond to your needs and desires with intention.
Erotic Energy
Your sexuality is deeply intertwined with your sense of aliveness. When we feel disconnected from our sexuality—whether due to shame, trauma, or lack of exploration—it can affect how we engage with the world around us. Sexuality isn’t just about physical acts; it’s about how you experience pleasure, express desire, and feel comfortable in your own skin.
Healing your relationship with sex can be a transformative part of rediscovering your aliveness. It’s about letting go of shame and embracing your body’s capacity for pleasure. It means creating a safe space to explore your desires and communicate them openly with your partner(s). When you feel confident in your sexual self, it can ripple out into other areas of your life, allowing you to approach relationships, work, and personal challenges with greater passion and purpose.
Taking the First Step
Stepping into a more confident, connected version of yourself is a journey that begins with small, intentional steps. Here are some ways to start:
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this process. Healing and growth are not linear, and it’s important to allow yourself the space to make mistakes and learn along the way.
Engage in Mindful Practices: Whether it’s yoga, meditation, or simply taking a few moments each day to breathe and ground yourself, mindfulness helps you stay present in your body and connected to your emotions.
Foster Meaningful Relationships: Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Practice vulnerability by sharing your thoughts and feelings openly with those you trust.
Explore Your Sexuality: Take time to understand your body, your desires, and your boundaries. Whether through solo exploration or with a partner, embrace the pleasure and connection that your sexuality can offer.
Celebrate Your Wins: Confidence grows when we acknowledge our successes. No matter how small, take time to celebrate your achievements and recognize your growth.
Pat Yourself in the Back for Any Sign of Progress, Give Yourself Grace for Any Setbacks
We have internalized so many conflicting information about ourselves, others, and our sexualities. Life changes may also make it harder to stay confident, connected, and fired up within your sense of self. That’s OK! You can always learn to repair, rediscover, and reconnect.
The beauty of this journey lies in the process—the moments of clarity, the challenges that teach you resilience, and the deep, meaningful connections that make life truly worth living. So, are you ready to step into this new version of yourself and rediscover your aliveness? If so, request a session and let’s talk about it!
I’m a Sex Counselor and Yoga Teacher. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
