Sensate focus is a an intervention that helps individuals or couples enhance their sexual experiences and overcome sexual difficulties. It involves a series of structured exercises that focus on the sensory and physical aspects of touch and intimacy. These experiences combine mindfulness with behavioral exercises.

The goal of sensate focus is to reduce performance anxiety, increase body awareness, and promote sensual pleasure without the pressure of achieving specific sexual goals. It is often used to address issues such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, difficulty reaching orgasm, and low sexual desire.

The exercises typically start with non-sexual touch, such as holding hands or gentle caressing, gradually progressing to more intimate and erotic touch over time. The emphasis is on exploring and communicating sensations, preferences, and boundaries with a partner in a relaxed and non-judgmental environment. Sensate focus is designed to help individuals and couples develop a deeper understanding of their own bodies and those of their partners. It can improve communication, intimacy, and overall sexual satisfaction by promoting a focus on pleasurable sensations rather than performance or goal-oriented sex.

It's worth noting that sensate focus is often conducted under the guidance of a trained therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual health. They can provide support, guidance, and expertise throughout the process to ensure the exercises are performed safely and effectively.

Here are some common scenarios in which sensate focus may be employed:

1. Sexual dysfunction: Sensate focus can be used to address issues such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, anorgasmia (inability to reach orgasm), or sexual pain disorders. By focusing on pleasurable sensations rather than performance, individuals can reduce anxiety and develop healthier sexual responses.

2. Intimacy and connection: Sensate focus exercises can be beneficial for couples who want to deepen their emotional and physical intimacy. It helps partners explore each other's bodies, communicate their desires and boundaries, and build trust and closeness in a non-judgmental environment.

3. Past negative experiences: Individuals who have experienced sexual trauma or negative sexual experiences in the past may benefit from sensate focus as a way to gradually rebuild trust, regain control, and reclaim their sexuality in a safe and consensual manner.

4. Relationship issues: Sensate focus can also be used as a tool to address relationship difficulties that affect sexual intimacy. By focusing on the sensory and physical aspects of touch, couples can improve communication, enhance emotional connection, and overcome challenges that may be impacting their sexual relationship.

5. Enhancing sexual experiences: Even individuals or couples who don't have specific sexual difficulties may choose to practice sensate focus to explore new sensations, increase pleasure, and enhance their overall sexual experiences.

I guide couples through sensate focus exercises in the following ways:

1. Assessment and goal-setting: Conducting an assessment of your sexual history, concerns, and goals. Create a safe and non-judgmental space for open communication, allowing the couple to express their individual and shared challenges and desires. I help individuals and couples set realistic and personalized goals for their sensate focus exercises.

2. Education and instruction: I offer guidance about the exercises and, if needed, may also offer information about sexual anatomy, arousal, and response to help the couple gain a better understanding of their own bodies and sexual functioning.

3. Creating a safe environment: Sensate focus requires a safe and comfortable environment for the couple to explore touch and intimacy. I help establish ground rules for the exercises, including boundaries, consent, and communication guidelines. They will emphasize the importance of trust, respect, and open dialogue between partners throughout the process.

4. Guided exercises: I guide clients through a series of structured exercises, starting with non-sexual touch and gradually progressing to more intimate and erotic touch. I may provide specific instructions and suggestions for different types of touch, encouraging partners to explore each other's bodies and communicate their sensations, preferences, and boundaries. I will monitor the couple's progress, offer feedback, and make adjustments as necessary to ensure a positive and beneficial experience.

5. Communication and feedback: Although the sensate focus exercises will take place at the client’s home, we debrief the experience in our sessions together. I provide guidance on effective communication techniques, helping partners express their desires, concerns, and emotions in a supportive manner. In this way, I facilitate feedback sessions, allowing the couple to reflect on their experiences, discuss any challenges or successes, and make adjustments for future exercises.

6. Addressing emotional aspects: Sensate focus exercises can bring up emotional issues and vulnerabilities for individuals and couples. We may incorporate emotional regulation techniques to manage any difficult feeling that may arise.

If you’d like to explore how you might benefit from a sensate focus, click here to request a session.