The Dual Control Model of Sexuality
The dual control model of sexual desire was first proposed by Janssen, E., Vorst, H., Finn, P., & Bancroft, J. in a 2002 publication titled "The Sexual Inhibition (SIS) and Sexual Excitation (SES) Scales: I. Measuring Sexual Inhibition and Excitation Prone to Sexual Dysfunction." The model suggests that sexual response is influenced by two opposing systems: sexual excitation (SES) and sexual inhibition (SIS). These systems interact and determine an individual's overall level of sexual arousal and desire. This was popularized by sex educator Emily Nagoski, PhD.
In her book "Come as You Are," Nagoski extensively discusses this model. The "breaks" and "accelerators" are terms used to describe the dual control model of sexual response.
Breaks: These are factors that inhibit or slow down sexual desire and arousal. These can be anything that puts a damper on sexual interest, ranging from stress, fatigue, relationship issues, body image concerns, past trauma, or any other factors that make a person feel less inclined or unable to engage in sexual activity. Understanding and managing these "breaks" are crucial for a healthy sexual response.
Accelerators: These are factors that enhance or speed up sexual desire and arousal. These can be physical or psychological stimuli that turn a person on and make them more responsive to sexual cues. This could include things like physical touch, romantic gestures, sexual fantasies, or any other stimuli that trigger arousal and desire.
Understanding both "breaks" and "accelerators" is vital in comprehending an individual's sexual response and, importantly, in fostering a satisfying and fulfilling sexual experience. Emily Nagoski's work emphasizes the importance of understanding these elements to enhance sexual well-being and communication in relationships. Desire is a multifaceted concept and is influenced by various physiological, psychological, and environmental factors.
Exploring your sexual breaks and accelerators and how they influence your sexual experiences is key in the process of improving sexual experiences, especially for those struggling with sexual desire, pleasure, arousal, orgasm, and/or sexual satisfaction. Please note that what falls under each of these categories varies according to time, context, and individuals. Understanding the context in which these take places is just as important as identifying what are your breaks and your accelerators.
Breaks: Inhibitory Factors
Stress and Anxiety: Stress, anxiety, or other mental health issues can act as brakes on sexual desire. When an individual is preoccupied with stressors, it becomes challenging to focus on sexual thoughts or experiences.
Negative Body Image: Dissatisfaction with one's body or appearance can be a significant break. Insecurities about physicality can impede the ability to engage fully in sexual activities.
Past Trauma or Negative Experiences: Previous traumatic experiences, abuse, or negative sexual encounters can act as substantial breaks. These can lead to a variety of emotional and psychological issues that hinder a person's ability to engage in sexual activity.
Fatigue and Physical Health: Physical exhaustion or health problems can serve as breaks, reducing the desire for sexual engagement due to low energy levels or discomfort.
Relationship Issues: Conflicts, communication problems, or emotional distance in a relationship can act as significant breaks on sexual desire and intimacy.
Accelerators: Excitatory Factors
Physical Touch: Positive physical touch and affection, such as caresses, kisses, or cuddling, can serve as accelerators by enhancing arousal and desire. Note that not all touch is created equal and I am referring here to wanted or welcomed touch by a trusted other. Just as with all of the factors mentioned below, consent is a critical aspect of experiencing enjoyable sexual experiences.
Romantic Gestures: Expressions of love, romantic surprises, or gestures of affection can accelerate sexual desire by creating a conducive emotional atmosphere. Have this in mind, foreplay starts at the end of the last orgasm.
Sexual Fantasies: Engaging in sexual fantasies or imagining arousing scenarios can serve as an accelerator, enhancing sexual arousal and excitement.
Novelty and Variety: Introducing novelty and variety into sexual experiences can act as an accelerator by keeping the excitement and interest alive.
Intimacy and Emotional Connection: Building emotional intimacy and a strong emotional connection with a partner can be a powerful accelerator, enhancing desire and arousal.
Conclusion
Understanding the dual control model of sexuality—identifying both the brakes and accelerators—is essential for individuals and couples striving to cultivate a fulfilling sexual life. Recognizing and managing the factors that act as brakes, while actively engaging with and incorporating accelerators, can contribute to a healthier, more satisfying sexual experience. Emily Nagoski's pioneering work has brought these concepts to the forefront, providing a valuable framework for individuals to navigate the complexities of human sexuality and relationships.
To see more about the book “Come As You Are”, click here. You can buy it through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, and Book Shop.
She offers the Come As You Are worksheets on her website, click here to check them out.
You can also get the companion workbook here.
She also has a podcast by the same name, you can find it here. You can also find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.
If you’d like personalized support exploring any of the above, click here to request a session.
I am a PhD in Clinical Sexology candidate at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and have a Master of Science in Educational Psychology. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
