As Dr. Gentry teaches clients and clinicians, anxiety cannot live in a relaxed body. Viktor Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space…”. What we can do in this space to make a difference in our lives is practice self-regulation skills such as centering, grounding, containment, and relaxation techniques. This blog post presents 5 ways that are accessible for most individuals to practice some of these skills.

1. Grounding Technique for Stress Relief

I like to visualize grounding as a way of feeling the heaviness of gravity in our bodies. We are connected to the earth, very literally. Grounding is the act of focusing to that felt sense of connection to the ground (as opposed to floating without direction or control, how it might feel when stress and anxiety are increasing).
Practice: Place your feet on the floor and feeling the four corners of each foot connecting with it. If your anxious thoughts keep being loud, you can tap your feet on the floor in a way that you can hear the ‘thumps’. Combining with slower, deeper breaths is an ideal combination.

2. Breathing Exercises for Relaxation

Breathing is a powerful tool to relax and restore energy. It is interesting that breath, an autonomous function, can be controlled to some extent. When you need to relax, try making your exhalations longer than your inhalations. During exhalations, the heart slows down. This sends a message to your system that says "All is alright. Relax." One of the most wonderful things about breathing is that it can only happen in the present moment, helping you mindfully connect with your body.
Practice: Sit in a comfortable position or lie in bed. Start by paying attention to your breath. Notice as the air flows through your body. Slowly, try to deepen your breath, making each exhalation at least slightly longer than the inhalations.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation for Stress Relief

Sometimes we are so disconnected from our bodily experience that we cannot identify the tense muscles in our bodies. Exaggerating the tension in our muscles can help us notice the contrast when we relax them. Starting with connecting with your breath might be a great way to practice this.
Practice: Sit or lie comfortably. Scan your brain, paying attention to each muscle group from the bottom-up or from the top-down. Notice the areas of tension and ease in your body. When you’re ready, start at one extreme of your body. Contract each muscle as you inhale and use your exhalation to let it go.

4. Noodling Technique for Quick Relaxation

We don’t always have 10 minutes or more to get comfortable and relaxed, right? Our nervous system’s threat response is frequently activated in response to daily life demands. Noodling is a quick body scan technique. Getting its name from the idea of thinking of a spaghetti noodle getting softer and loose as the water boils.
Practice: As you breathe in and out, start from the top of your head all the way down to your toes, embodying a sense of release or softening with each exhale while bringing attention to each area of your body. If you’re new to this practice, saying “softer” in your mind as you focus on each part of your body might help.

5. Seek Connection - Co-Regulation

We are not born with the ability to self-regulate. Humans come to the world completely dependent on their caregivers. We learn to regulate in the context of our primary experiences. Connecting with others as a mean to regulate is a crucial part of the human experience. Co-regulation involves connecting with someone else - preferably in person but nowadays also in virtual spaces - who is able to regulate and help us create a sense of safety and connection.

When our storm meets their calm, our system mirrors the perceived state in the other person. However, in an active threat response, connecting with others becomes very difficult, which may prevent us from reaching out for support in the first place. Individuals who had adverse experiences in childhood or caregivers who had difficulties with self-regulation may find it harder to develop and practice healthy self-regulation and reach out for support. Recognizing when we need support from others is an essential aspect of taking care of ourselves.

Want help coping with stress and anxiety? Contact me to request a session.